So, with 40mins until Made in Chelsea and the word count on my dissertation not going up anytime tonight, I thought I would spend some time writing a new blog post. I can’t quite believe it’s April and four months into my year of singleness. Since my last post in February, I haven’t really been thinking about questions to do with being Christian and single, sex and relationships but these last few months have been more about where God and I stand. I feel like that since January I have been on a fast track with God… something feels different and fresh as I have laid down my distractions and focused on pursuing Him. Ever since I realised that He is my refuge from my anxiety and not lustful fantasies (see two posts ago!) , I feel like I have been living in a new lease of life. Now, I have always been a positive and naturally happy person, but these last few months have been different in a way I can’t really explain. I no longer live under the burden of worry. God has been SO good. I should be stressed right now about my workload and life after graduation but I am honestly not. It is the weirdest feeling; I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t concerned about an exam season or major piece of work.
This is not to say that it has been easy. Stress still murmurs and worry still bubbles away so ‘casting my fears on the LORD’ (Psalm 55v22) is a regular conscious decision, probably to ensure I do not become complacent but to keep me reliant on God. I believe that God uses our weaknesses to draw us closer to Him. Nevertheless, God has most certainly removed a great part of my natural anxiety. Plus, quite scarily, I can sense God nudging me towards other areas he wants to address and bring healing: ‘Ruth, when are we going to sort this out?’
I can’t end this blog post without mentioning the student weekend away I went on in late January with my church. I really do not know where to start; it was so amazing. I have been going to this church since my first year of University and have been to every weekend away but this one was just something else. Ask anyone who was there what their highlight was and in amongst the great food, silly games and chat I bet most of them would say the prophecy session and the Saturday night when God literally invaded our meeting. Throughout the Saturday, we all had a prophecy session in small groups with about five members of the prophecy team from our church during which, they would listen to God for us and see what He had to say. Now, I firmly believe that God talks directly to us without the need for a third party but there is something so exciting about people who you have never met speaking into your life so accurately. It also takes away the whole ‘I think you’re saying this God but maybe this is my head talking’ thing. Anyway, the first picture given to me was of a treasure box and the word alongside it was ‘God’s been digging and ploughing recently because the treasure in you needs to be released.’ I really thought this summed up what this year has been so far: God digging up things that need to be addressed. As for the treasure, well who knows?! There were other themes that kept cropping up such as wisdom but I’m still thinking through those as I don’t really consider myself to be a wise person! As for the Saturday night… One always associates what we experienced with major Christian festivals such as Soul Survivor and Momentum but that evening we saw healings and intimate spontaneous worship.
Anyway, this has been a rather short post but I can’t wait to see what will happen in the coming months and to update you all. Until next time!
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Thoughts... 